What Couples Who Sleep Well Do Differently at Night

Key Takeaways:

• For many couples, nights can feel disconnected and tense, making it hard to wind down for quality sleep.
• Shared bedtime habits can help you get more sleep while investing in your relationship.
• Hatch’s sound and light features support healthy sleep routines for couples, so you and your partner can rest easy no matter what the day held.

Sleep is supposed to be part of the day where everything finally calms down, but for many couples, bedtime is when tension shows up. One person is scrolling, the other is ready for lights out, and a quick comment turns into a mini argument. 

Finding time to unwind with your partner each night — whether you take a few minutes to connect before bed or follow the same bedtime routine — is a great way to align as a couple before bed (while also supporting better sleep). Keep reading to learn more about healthy sleep routines for couples, and how Hatch can help you form and sustain shared bedtime habits.

Table of Contents

1. Why Couples Shared Sleep Habits Matter
2. What Couples Who Sleep Well Tend to Do Differently
3. FAQs
4. References 

Why Couples Shared Sleep Habits Matter

Sleep isn’t a purely solo experience. For couples, it can be deeply relational. The transition from day to night involves shifting from alertness to rest, and that happens more easily when you feel connected with your partner. Shared sleep habits help reduce uncertainty at the end of the day, signaling that it’s safe to unwind. When evenings feel predictable and not chaotic, there’s also less room for tension or conflict. 

Small, repeated behaviors, like winding down at the same time or moving through familiar steps before bed, can help align your nervous systems and support emotional regulation. Over time, these gentle signals communicate “the day is over” that creates a feeling of safety and helps sleep come more easily.

What Couples Who Sleep Well Tend to Do Differently 

Every couple — and bedtime routine — is different. But those who sleep well generally incorporate similar practices into their nights: 

Choose a Shared Wind-Down Window

Even if it’s short and sweet, a shared unwind period can help you and your partner get better sleep while also strengthening your relationship. Check in with your partner and decide on a time to start unwinding together. If you go to bed at different times, choose an evening slot to spend time on a relaxing activity or two together.

Use Consistent Bedtime Cues

Shared sleep cues like soft light and soothing sound on your Hatch can help you and your partner wind down for bed together, while associating one another with relaxation (a sleep cue of its own). No matter which cues you choose, try to keep your home and sleep space relaxing to support your circadian rhythm and deeper sleep.

Reduce Stimulation Together 

Shifting from “go mode” to sleep mode can take time. Reducing stimulation slowly a few hours before bed can help. Try swapping overhead lights in your home for softer, dimmer lighting a couple of hours before you plan to sleep to support your circadian rhythm. You can also put your phone away at the same time as your partner as you shift gears toward more relaxing activities.

Allow Flexibility

Consistency is important when it comes to sleep routines, but there’s no such thing as perfection with sleep, or in a relationship. If you or your partner works late or you’re out past your normal bedtime with friends, don’t sweat missing out on the shared routine. Just return to your shared bedtime habits when you can. 

Take better care of yourself and your relationship with Hatch.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do couples need to go to bed at the same time to sleep well together?

No. Many couples benefit from shared wind-down time even if they fall asleep at different times or sleep in different beds. Prioritizing connection and cues before bed matters more than syncing your schedules exactly.

What if partners have very different sleep preferences?

Shared sleep habits don’t require identical preferences. Couples who sleep well often find overlap, like shared cues or routines, while still honoring their own individual needs.

Can improving sleep habits actually help relationship satisfaction?

Yes! Better sleep supports emotional regulation, communication, and patience, all of which can help contribute to healthier relationship dynamics over time.

References

1. Bornstein, M. H., & Esposito, G. (2023). Coregulation: A Multilevel Approach via Biology and Behavior. Children (Basel, Switzerland), 10(8), 1323. https://doi.org/10.3390/children10081323
2. Foster R. G. (2020). Sleep, circadian rhythms and health. Interface focus, 10(3), 20190098. https://doi.org/10.1098/rsfs.2019.0098